Relationship status for a person who represents themselves as being Single on a social media platform, but in reality is too chickenshit to admit to being in a long-term domestic relationship / long-term open marriage... due to severely restricted dating opportunities and 'uncool' social stigma.
by Cirucla7 October 27, 2018
When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.
(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
by gingyman January 09, 2010
Pretending to be on your cell phone in order to avoid conversation or akward situations. Faux meaning fake and almost rhyming with phone makes this phrase kick ass.
by Kyle Sarich March 25, 2008
Pretending one is offended, insulted or generally affronted by something which they really are not. The faux outrage is usually expressed publicly because it is done in the service of an agenda. Those expressing faux outrage usually labor under the delusion that no one can see through them, but most can.
The professional protesters went down to City Hall today to express their opposition to bill 1234. They were drinking coffee and playing marbles until the tv station got there, then all three of them sprung into action and began waving signs and displaying faux outrage after the camera was turned on.
by arktos March 06, 2012
A person who wants to be a vegan and wants to be known as a vegan, yet is okay with eating muffins that contain eggs and dairy. A faux vegan does not always read food labels. Also, a man who is probably an omnivore or a vegetarian, but says he is vegan to date a vegan woman who will not date a vegan man. This man thinks so highly of himself that he thinks the vegan woman will be so blown away by his charm that she will throw her convictions to the wind and date him even if he eats a steak in front of her.
Dax: Belle is hot. I am going to ask her out.
Avery: Belle will only date vegan men.
Dax: Oh, well I like vegetables and I don't eat that much meat.
Avery: A true vegan eats no animal products at all, including dairy, honey, and eggs. They also do not wear any animal products or use anything containing animal products or tested on animals. She does not want to date a faux vegan. I. on the other hand, am a true vegan as I refuse to contribute to animal suffering in any way. I will ask her out.
Avery: Belle will only date vegan men.
Dax: Oh, well I like vegetables and I don't eat that much meat.
Avery: A true vegan eats no animal products at all, including dairy, honey, and eggs. They also do not wear any animal products or use anything containing animal products or tested on animals. She does not want to date a faux vegan. I. on the other hand, am a true vegan as I refuse to contribute to animal suffering in any way. I will ask her out.
by Jane Doeski October 28, 2012
by henro50 February 16, 2014
Water from drinking fountain or tap poured into the empty plastic bottle of brand name water. A good way save money and still look sophisticated.
Everybody thinks I drink expensive water all the time. My secret is faux H2O. Helps the environment too.
by yes juanito yes April 30, 2015