A politician who claims to know the way but can't drive the car.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.

To masturbate in an angry and confused way using unconventional stimuli.

To disappear into the background, after causing chaos by committing an intentional act of stupidity.

(Voted for as part of Mark Thomas 100Acts, pronounced to rhyme with garage e.g. Fah-Ridge)- Noun: the liquid found at the bottom of a bin/trashcan/wheelie bin.

Someone who wastes everyone else's time and money, whose only contribution to society is to divide and deceive, and who miraculously gets airtime despite never having achieved anything.

The mistaken belief that something one believes is a fact.