Science teacher: "...and at the end of the digestive system, waste products are excreted in the form of faeces."

Class clown translates: "SHITTY POO COME OUT OF BUM."

You're all stupid people and I hate you.

"Eww. Look at that animal's faeces!"

"What ho, my good chap! It appears that during one's perambulatory peripateticism one has encountered a number of pieces of excremental matter that have adhered to the base-plate of one's footwear. S**T!

My kid just laid faeces on your mum's clothes. Steaming...

Brit 1: "I say lad, what's that steaming pile of brown stuff?"
Brit 2: "Why that's faeces kind sir. Pass my crumpet and tea."
Brit 3: "Good show!"

oh bro look at that curry faece