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The facial johnson (or the Iranian facial phallus) is a humiliating and painful condition. A facial johnson is often identified as a wart. It grows on the face anywhere above the eyes and is a particularly odd-looking wart, as it is shaped like a human penis.

It can vary in size and colour, in the range of 1 cm to 3 inches and a pale white to a deep Caribbean black (an annoying yellow colour is possible but rare).

The facial johnson can be caught in 2 ways: socialising with the infected and being a knob-face.
Billy: "Travis has been slug-wrestling for days!"
James: "He's such a knob"
Billy: "I know, has he got a facial johnson?"

Gunther: "Them fucking faggots are corking again!"
Abbey: "They're gonna get fucking bum-nuggets!"
Gunther: "And facial johnsons"
by flashkapOw July 14, 2009
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Aug 1 Word of the Day
the act of texting people while you are pooping
ex. (talking to a friend on fbook chat)

person 1: hey man whats going on tonight
person 2: i gotta go to the bathroom il poopt you

or

person 1: whatsup man what are you doing?
person 2: poopting you
by mr.poopter January 26, 2011
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