Emotional tampons are a subculture within the wider Simp culture, they are distinguished by be being more emotionally soaked with their current cheating GF or Ex problems, while she is using her positive sexual energy for another Male.
Dude stop being an emotional Tampon for that Hoe, you already paid the fare...Why the fuck do you allow her to bother you
by Felix Jabs Arnold September 27, 2017
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A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011
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A friendzoned male friend who thinks he can win over a girl by always being there to absorb her emotional outbursts.
'Yo Steve how was the dinner with Maria last night?'
'It was good! She wanted to rant about Bill. It seems he's into some other girls these days!'
'Dude! Grow a pair and stop being her emotional tampon!!'
'It was good! She wanted to rant about Bill. It seems he's into some other girls these days!'
'Dude! Grow a pair and stop being her emotional tampon!!'
by Barlan March 29, 2019
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n: A role taken on by the man in a 'just friends' male/female relationship. An emotional tampon is a man who will always be there to provide a woman with the proverbial 'shoulder to cry on' or some other outlet for her to otherwise vent her emotional frustration, problems, and mental unbalance. Ultimately, he becomes the only person for whom this behavior is reserved as nobody else will tolerate it but him.
This Herculean effort is too often never rewarded in any substantial or tangible way (at least not in a way that the man would typically hope for, which is a good skronking session, or at least a BJ), and is typically the only contact between the two parties.
This Herculean effort is too often never rewarded in any substantial or tangible way (at least not in a way that the man would typically hope for, which is a good skronking session, or at least a BJ), and is typically the only contact between the two parties.
The late comic Sam Kinison (1953-1992) coined the phrase "Emotional Tampon" in his first HBO comedy special "Sam Kinison: Breaking the Rules" in 1987, with this line:
"So you just want to be friends, huh? Yeah, I think I know what that means. I become some kind of 'emotional tampon' you need three or four days out of the month... when no one else will take your f__king bullsh__..."
"So you just want to be friends, huh? Yeah, I think I know what that means. I become some kind of 'emotional tampon' you need three or four days out of the month... when no one else will take your f__king bullsh__..."
by Gregory Pius February 18, 2004
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by thekirkhammer March 25, 2013
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What someone becomes when you harangue them endlessly with all your sad sob stories. To make someone's ears the recepticle of of all your bullshit issues.
After having heard about her breakup for the millionth time, I screamed " Get a maxi pad - I'm not your emotional tampon!"
by Mi 'Chelle September 02, 2009
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a person or confidant who is willing and happy to listen to all of the terrible shit going on in your life.
by bluelantern54321 July 14, 2011
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