Top definition
To not only stroke your own ego, but to do so vigorously.
Newb RE 5 game: " Oooo! A TRIcell computer! I wonder whats on it..."
Pro RE 5 player: "Oh that? Nothing but Wesker's Ego Masturbation."
by Werebereus June 07, 2011
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May 27 Word of the Day
The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."
"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
by johnnynika May 30, 2006
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2
The act of putting someone else down or insulting them to boost one's Ego. It is most commonly done through pointing out the other person's mistakes, especially in spelling and grammar. This form is somewhat rare in real life, but very, very common on the internet.
- ... I found the movie hilarious, but your going to have to see it yourself.

It's "you're," n00b, now go kill yourself!

-Stop masturbating your ego, fucking Grammar Nazi.

{Ego Masturbation)
by "Fuzzy" January 04, 2007
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3
When you lack confidence and need some stroking to make it stronger, better
Ego masturbation is giving yourself praise when you actually suck so bad at it.
by Onezeen August 06, 2019
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