Friend One: "I haven't had a douchement in a couple of weeks"

Friend Two: "Yes you have! Last night...when you were bragging to the bartender how big your calf muscles are."

Friend One: "oooohhhh...your totally RIGHT, that was a douchement!"

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”