Top definition
Noun
A person that has a fear of shitting in a public washroom with someone else there, so they feign urinating until the other(s) leave. They then rush to a stall to do their business.
From Dookie, a shit or turd, and Deke, a sports term to psyche-out someone.
Here are 3 types of Dookiedekers:
1. The Average Dookiedeker: Usually a workmate that migrates to the washroom mid-afternoon. They've been dreading taking a dump at work, but can't hold it in any longer. Upon noticing someone at a urinal, they’ll pretend to use one too. Having people know you shit at work isn’t an option. Since they’ve been pinching tightly since lunch, urination is risky. The moment they leave, the DD runs straight to the stall. If someone’s in a stall, they’ll leave and wait for them to finish. When they try again, there'll be no time to deke.
2. The Smart Dookiedeker: This one accepts defeat earlier than the Average. They’ll attempt the throne earlier in the day, knowing there’s no point in waiting. This allows them more attempts to perform the deke, as well as even possibly piss while clenching
3. The Hopeless Dookiedeker: These will have held it in as long as possible before they cave in. It’s rare that this deke ever works. Once at the urinal, sweat will bead on their forehead. Then the Toilet Radar kicks in. In front of your urinal neighbor, you will accept your fate and run to a stall.
Witnesses will jest of your flounder for years to come
A person that has a fear of shitting in a public washroom with someone else there, so they feign urinating until the other(s) leave. They then rush to a stall to do their business.
From Dookie, a shit or turd, and Deke, a sports term to psyche-out someone.
Here are 3 types of Dookiedekers:
1. The Average Dookiedeker: Usually a workmate that migrates to the washroom mid-afternoon. They've been dreading taking a dump at work, but can't hold it in any longer. Upon noticing someone at a urinal, they’ll pretend to use one too. Having people know you shit at work isn’t an option. Since they’ve been pinching tightly since lunch, urination is risky. The moment they leave, the DD runs straight to the stall. If someone’s in a stall, they’ll leave and wait for them to finish. When they try again, there'll be no time to deke.
2. The Smart Dookiedeker: This one accepts defeat earlier than the Average. They’ll attempt the throne earlier in the day, knowing there’s no point in waiting. This allows them more attempts to perform the deke, as well as even possibly piss while clenching
3. The Hopeless Dookiedeker: These will have held it in as long as possible before they cave in. It’s rare that this deke ever works. Once at the urinal, sweat will bead on their forehead. Then the Toilet Radar kicks in. In front of your urinal neighbor, you will accept your fate and run to a stall.
Witnesses will jest of your flounder for years to come
"Did you hear about Mackowski?? He just caved while trying to be a dookiedeker!"
"Oh thank god he left. Dookiedeker: success!"
"Oh thank god he left. Dookiedeker: success!"
by Basque JRED January 13, 2015
Jul 15 Word of the Day
The safeguarding of Earth and other worlds from biological cross-contamination (i.e. billionaires with too much time on their hands).
Also known as “planetary protection.” Planetary protection / quarantine “reflects both the unknown nature of the space environment and the desire of the scientific community to preserve the pristine nature of celestial bodies until they can be studied in detail.”
There are two types of interplanetary contamination. Forward contamination is the transfer of viable organisms from Earth to another celestial body. Back contamination is the transfer of extraterrestrial organisms, if such exist, back to the Earth's biosphere.
Also known as “planetary protection.” Planetary protection / quarantine “reflects both the unknown nature of the space environment and the desire of the scientific community to preserve the pristine nature of celestial bodies until they can be studied in detail.”
There are two types of interplanetary contamination. Forward contamination is the transfer of viable organisms from Earth to another celestial body. Back contamination is the transfer of extraterrestrial organisms, if such exist, back to the Earth's biosphere.
Billionaires are having a dick swinging space race while the earth experiences record breaking heatwaves that cause sea creatures to literally cook inside their shells. We need planetary quarantine.
by monkeylabor July 14, 2021