The Discombobulated Shady Knick-Knack is a rare goat-like animal that is found on the high mountain slopes of the Scottish Mountains. When at its most confused, the Knick-Knack spins around in circles for approximately two minutes and then goes on a rampage to eat Cairngorm Snow Haggis’s. The minerals found in Cairngorm Snow Haggis’s helps the Knick-Knack grow a thick white furry coat that’s helps keep it warm when temperatures drop to a chilly -27°C.

Due to less oxygen on top of some of the hills the Knick-knack’s lungs are able to take bigger breaths to absorb as much oxygen as possible. The feet of the Knick-Knack are wide so the feet do not sink into the snow whilst chasing Snow haggises.

Knick-Knacks can be seen all year round in the Scottish Highlands but are particularly common in the winter months where the Knick-knack has been known to eat the unfortunate winter hill-walker or ice-climber with its razor sharp sabre-tooth teeth. Since modern hill-walking gear has got tougher over the years the Knick-Knack has developed sharper teeth so it can tear through the most Gore-Texed jacket on the market.

A casual invitation / threat used by an individual that is not afraid of fucking someone up.