When you cut your balls shaving before an event and turn up hours later only to realise you never stopped the blood flow and spend the evening with a stiff upper lip whilst your white chinos are forever ruined.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.