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One day, a filthy homeless man wandering through Russia began defecating on a Diamond he had stolen from a wealthy woman. Later, a man named Mervis was so aroused by the shit covered diamond, he began to pierce his own ear with the sharpest edge. Following the piercing, the filthy Russian ran back, began fornicating the man’s gaping ear orifice, shat in the cavernous cum-filled ear cavity, then finished his deed by stuffing the diamond fully in Mervis’s ear, where it properly belonged. Now, this act of piercing an ear and then fucking that shit/cum covered ear hole is now known as the “Dirty Mervis”
When questioning an activity: "Did you just give me a dirty mervis? Because it feels like there's pudding by my ear drum."
When making a compromise: "I'll trade you my snack-pack for a dirty mervis!"
When bragging: "Phillip gave me the best dirty mervis last night; I can hardly hear anything today!"
In a sentence: "I will give you a Dirty Mervis right here, right now."
by Basic Bob November 27, 2013
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