Top definition
A person who is from Malta. A dirty maltese often feels overshadowed by their northern neighbours, Italians. Often mistaken for an Italian, a dirty maltese will emphatically deny being Italian and will loudly proclaim his true nationality saying "I am from Malta!". This is often followed by others in the immediate area quitely whispering "what's a malta?".

A dirty maltese is, by definition, a hairy bastard. So hairy in fact that a dirty maltese must regularly trim his entire body. If you share a residence with a dirty maltese it is often advised to cover any personal effects you keep in the washroom area as the trimming process can be quite messy and you may find an unpleasant surprise on your tooth brush when you wake up.

Popular pick up techniques of a dirty maltese often include incoherant babbling which is often followed by the spilling of one's drink on the intended conquest.
The dirty maltese shook hands with 3 of his friends promising to fully fund their trip to the world cup of soccer should Malta ever qualify. Knowing that because Malta would never qualify (in a million years), he would not have to follow through on the empty gesture.
by Conky June 29, 2006
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Apr 27 Word of the Day
A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011
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