Dirty Lavinia

You take a beautiful woman into your bedroom, liberally apply large quantities of make up on her making her look hideous. Then leave the room and stand by the door so the girl can hear and have wank whilst thinking of someone’s else.

I couldn’t find a girl but it worked well with my sister.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.