Any coach who habitually misses key games and/or practices due to back alimony checks, long strings of traffic violations, or can't get into his car because he can't find anyone to trick the breathalizer that the State installed in his car to start it.

Coach also must appear to games intoxicated, and force his underage players to drink Natty Lite for every loss and complain about how expensive mint leaves are out of season.

Optionally, the coach must also sprint out of the games when there's a large fight and the police are called yelling something along the lines of "I can't go back to prison".

Must be inspirational.

No Bull Shit, and old hacker acronym which is usually used to signify that the talk will be serious.