Pejorative term for administrative work done by a military officer from the comfort and safety of headquarters, rather than out in the field where the real danger lies.

A raging erection which occurs whilst sitting at a desk, often in a work situation after a scantily clad co-worker passes by, or occasionally on television panel programs where one of the hosts is sitting next to a rather fit lady who oozes sex. Given the public nature of this erection, the individual with the desk fat is unable to leave the safety of the desk for fear of being exposed as a deviant until the desk fat subsides

To attend some kind of function, do some kind of activity or task with your significant other that you would rather not do, but have to. An obligation that must be attended with your significant other that you would prefer not to attend but must.

A blow job given from under a desk while the recipient sits at said desk.

Someone who has a shitty job and is stuck behind a desk and a computer all day long.

Desk wetting is the process of relieving yourself at your desk, usually to mark territory.

the act of hitting your head on a desk from frustration, or pure boredness.