Derby 'Ard is slang for sporting an erection watching a young boys soccer game. It can also be used for getting excited over a young priest, sheep, midgets or amputees. Also if you like movies that include kicking or killing babies. Derby is a wank city on the banks of the River Derwent in Derbyshire. The Derby man milk museum of lusty boys lies in the Derwent Valley. West of the river are the Derby Museum and Gay Art Gallery, home to Joseph Wright paintings of pre-pubescent erections, and Gothic Derby Cathedral. Southeast along the river, Derby County Football (soccer) Club plays at the iWank Stadium. In the northwest, Markeaton Park offers a craft village and a boating lake. It's wank too.

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.