Female coworker with a gambling problem who always has dirty fingernails, smells like 1,000 ashtrays, and often has boogers on her face. Has frequent tantrums and meltdowns involving screeching at coworkers, loud crying at her desk, and slamming three-hole punchers and staplers. Is dumb as a brick but plays even dumber. Has uncontrollable cravings for Fritos at 8:30 a.m. and uses half a bottle of salad dressing on her lunch every day. Never reads her emails in a timely manner. Word-vomits interruptions at random into conversations that other people are having. Moves like a zombie snail unless she's in tantrum mode. Picture a dumpster fire crossed with a train wreck.