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A British newspaper, founded in 1900. Originally a broadsheet, it has been a tabloid for the past few decades.
The paper was bought by pornographer Richard Desmond in 2000, and since then has been dragged downmarket in an attempt to cut costs. In fact, only 7 headlines are known to exist.
DIANA DEATH
KILLER WEATHER
KILLER/HEALTHY FOODS YOU SHOULD AVOID/EAT
EVIL IMMIGRANTS
CANCER SCARE
HOUSE PRICES
MADELIENE
Stories about DIANA DEATH are usually printed on Mondays as no news ever happens over the weekend in Expressland. The Express will print anything about Princess Diana as front page news.
In August 2007 every headline from August 3 onwards was devoted to the missing toddler Madeleine McCann, often reporting on stories that for some reason the rest of the media would either not both reporting or put in a small column on page 25. The absence of anything remotely resembling Real News has caused many people to worry about the condition of the Daily Express for many years.
The paper was bought by pornographer Richard Desmond in 2000, and since then has been dragged downmarket in an attempt to cut costs. In fact, only 7 headlines are known to exist.
DIANA DEATH
KILLER WEATHER
KILLER/HEALTHY FOODS YOU SHOULD AVOID/EAT
EVIL IMMIGRANTS
CANCER SCARE
HOUSE PRICES
MADELIENE
Stories about DIANA DEATH are usually printed on Mondays as no news ever happens over the weekend in Expressland. The Express will print anything about Princess Diana as front page news.
In August 2007 every headline from August 3 onwards was devoted to the missing toddler Madeleine McCann, often reporting on stories that for some reason the rest of the media would either not both reporting or put in a small column on page 25. The absence of anything remotely resembling Real News has caused many people to worry about the condition of the Daily Express for many years.
Daily Express headlines:
"Diana Death: Diana Was Abducted By Aliens"
"Madeleine"
"Evil Immigrants Are After YOUR Jobs, Middle England!"
"Madeleine"
"Eating Food Causes Cancer"
"Madeleine"
"Killer Weather Causes Drop Of Rain To Fall"
"Madeleine"
"Diana Death: Diana Was Abducted By Aliens"
"Madeleine"
"Evil Immigrants Are After YOUR Jobs, Middle England!"
"Madeleine"
"Eating Food Causes Cancer"
"Madeleine"
"Killer Weather Causes Drop Of Rain To Fall"
"Madeleine"
by Dai Annafan August 30, 2007
Apr 27 Word of the Day
A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011
3
Daily, right-wing UK tabloid. Takes a simiiar editorial stance to the Daily Mail. Infamous for regular headlines about Princess Diana, 'political correctness gone mad' and immigrants/asylum seekers.
Daily Express headlines:
"Diana fund pays out to gypsies and asylum seekers"
"Suicide bombers in our schools"
"Diana fund pays out to gypsies and asylum seekers"
"Suicide bombers in our schools"
by Kay November 21, 2007
4
Headlines of the Daily Express: "Diana crash REALLY WAS A CONSPIRACY"
"...No it wasn't"
"YES IT WAS!1"
"...No it wasn't"
"YES IT WAS!1"
by Dickface Faceofadick May 12, 2007