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The act of crying and wanking (masturbation)at the same time.
This term comes from 'Ye Olde English' originating from the reign of King Henry VIII and his desperation in not being able to produce a male heir to carry on the Tudor dynasty. It was discovered by a lowly servant who stumbled upon the King in floods of tears and covered in copious amounts of semen. This information was a state secret until 2007 when it was released under Freedom of Information Act.
'Last night I watched Hugh Grant in Love Actually it was a performance of a lifetime it touched me in so many ways I just had to have a crank'
'Every since I heard my Mum and Dad had died in a horrible dolphin accident I've had to crank myself to sleep every night'
'Late at night after his girlfriend had gone to sleep Steven Peters Matthews would slowly crank over her delicate jawline'

Mohinder: Hey guys do you all wanna go to the beach and catch some waves and then afterwards we can go to Chad's house and have communal crank'
Bruce: That sounds totally crazy sick Mohinder I'll give Chuck a ring he loves cranking'

'Man I just watched Schindler's List, it was like totally sad but that little girl in the red coat was so hot i just had to have a crank'.

'The other day I was having a glorious wank in the woods when I saw a cute bunny rabbit get brutally mutilated by a hedgehog it turned my once in a lifetime wanking experience into a mournful cranking session'
by Malcom McCroat February 13, 2009
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2
To cry and wank at the same time.
"Whats that noise?"
"Oh nothing, Sharky just broke up with his girlfriend so he is cranking night and day"
by Ricky Miller May 17, 2007
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3
To be simultaneously engaged in the acts of crying and wanking.
If his funds were running particularly low, Junkie Jim could often be found cranking at the local sperm-bank.
by Johnny Darke December 03, 2008
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5
To complete an assignment on it's due date. Often results in rushed or sub-par work. Cranking is often preformed on a bus, in a car, or in the hours of 4am-6am in the comfort of your own home.
Student A- "I was in a major state of cranking this morning, but I got those Brute questions done like nothing."

Student B- "You think that's impressive? I cranked out a degree while away on a golf meet."

Student A- "Yeah, but did you study for that math test?"

Student B- "Oh GOD. Didn't even sniff it."
by b1 mIRACLE December 05, 2017
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6
To cry and wank at the same time. Something that picks your spirits up if you're feeling low.
John: Wow, Dave took his grandma's death very well, look at that smile!
George: Nah, he's just been cranking in the toilets.
by BSF0708 April 02, 2008
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7
The practice of driving around residential areas (usually between the hours of 12-5 am), pulling up beside cars parked on the side of the street, and checking to see if they have been locked. If not, the car is stripped of anything inside. If so, the thieves move on. Cranking can also involve petty vandalism, leaving of handbrake off in a robbed car etc etc.
This practice originated in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne, Victoria, and has spread throughout the state.
Dude, check out this sweet GPS I got out cranking last night!
by McDeath October 06, 2008
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