After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.

"Ross and Howard were cottaging in the downstairs bogs the other day. I wasn't shocked to find them at it though; I suspected them all along."

'Ronald was exploring the multifarious mechanical advantages of different cottaging positions'

Ronald: 'I have, by trial and error, come to the conclusion that the plastic bag method is by far the most convenient and pleasurable method. Nevertheless, it lacks the anonymity typically desired for such an experience, thus some may prefer the "hole in the wall" method, as it adds a sense of discretion and adventure.'

Son: 'Daddy, what's cottaging?'
Father: 'Well son, when two men love each other very much, they secretly meet in public lavatories and do the dirty. Through a hole in the wall. The excitment is unparalleled.'

Guy 1 - fancy going cottaging?
Guy 2 - Let me get my carrier bag
Guy 3 - What are they doing in there? let me take a peak under the door. Ahhh He's taking a shit, must of just got back from the shops.

"Please excuse me a second Nathanial, I'm going to check out the cottaging facilities"

"Ow" exclaimed Bowden "My Japseye seems to contain an angry splinter. I know i should have sanded the cottaging hole"

We caught some dirty buggers cottaging in the bogs in the park last night.