A decent neighborhood in Vancouver where you can't even wave your arm without slapping some Iranian or Chinese "gangster" (I use the term as loosely as humanly possible).

Home to a pretty nice mall (yeah, I'm including PoCo in this definition) and that's about it. Crime isn't too bad but for some reason the place does have this sort of grimy impression.
Guy 1: Dude, let's go to Coquitlam, I think Mahsood is finally gonna put out.

Guy 2: I'm not driving all the way from North Van to PoCo just to watch you get herpes from some freshman Persian whore with tan lines on her tits.

Guy 1: Fine then, let's go to that Boston Pizza a couple blocks down from the mall.

Guy 2: Now THAT I will drive for.
by yanorglu March 3, 2009
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A suburb in the GVA (Greater Vancouver Area) with a rising population. Their is a large asian population, as well as many whites, blacks, and hispanics. There is a small number of east indian people but that number is increasing do to the large population of the connecting city (Surrey) which has a massive east indian population. Coquitlam is fairly safe in some areas but in others it is quite dangerous. Coquitlam also has a large hip hop/ rap scene. Coquitlam is also known for having a large number of shootings each year compared to the surrounding suburbs. An area of Coquitlam known as PoCo is known for being the area in which Robert Pickton (a physco killer who killed many women in the GVA) is/was from. Coquitlam is known for having a large number of gangs (CKV, JBC, Red Scorpions, U.N., Hells Angles, etc). Sometimes referred to as Vancouvers little Compton but now Surrey and East Van are claiming that title. Most of the Crime within Coquitlam consists of pot grow ops, gang shootings, assaults, and car theft. Coquitlam has 3 movie theatres, a very large mall, and many large grocery stores such as Super Store. Also because Coqutuitlam is at the base of some large mountains there is commonly bears that venture down into the town at night.
Jon: Did you hear about that stuff that happened in Coquitlam on the weekend?
Carlos: No, why? Another person get killed by a bear?
Jon: No, some dude got shot on Lansdown and another dude got shot up on Lougheed.
Carlos: Oh...
by 604COQ October 6, 2009
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A Victorian sexual act, as decreed by Craig Ferguson
'I say Lord Percy, did you perform Coquitlam?'

'Yes I did, and let me just say that Lady Foxingtonworthy will never be the same again.'

'And the type of Coquitlam...was it Port Coquitlam, or starboard Coquitlam?'

'Oh, always starboard.'

'Well, port out, starboard home.'

- Craig Ferguson LMAO
by Craig ish funnaay December 19, 2009
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A town of mostly Asians. The whites there are either complete druggies or straight G's (or atleast most of them think they are). One of the best towns around. It is said if someone is seen wearing blue, they will get jumped by one of the many blood-sets.
Person 1: Have you seen all these Asians and gangsters?
Person 2: Hell yeah it's Coquitlam all over again
by WERDWHAT? August 22, 2008
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Reets who live in the outmost suburb of the great city of Vancouver. They tend to be extremely jealous of the good things happening beyond their reach.
Wow dude, being a Coquitlamer is just as bad as being a Marq!
by trollunited233 May 10, 2011
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The Canadian Compton, a place where the dealers of Surrey and the meth users of Maple Ridge come to kill eachother as it has a murder rate 4 times the national average and has been multiple time murder capital of Canada. Hometown of legendary hero Terry Fox and horrific serial killer Willy Pickton. It is a great place to raise a family or start a meth lab, sometimes both. Hometown heroes include the PoCo donkey, a screaming donkey that can be heard throughout the Northside, the Pirate Lady(true legend), the PoCo hooker who has a two dollar tuesday special, and former mayor Scott Young, who was acting mayor while in prison. Well known areas include the magical forest, where people get high and see things, halfway houses(beside middle schools), PoCo arena and various teen centre which are a great place for fake gangster young teens to find drugs and cigarette.
Where do you live?
"Port Coquitlam the cul de sac kids always play street hockey on"
which one?
"beside the grow-op"
which one?
"The one beside the meth-lab"
which one?
"Where that guy got shot"
which one?
"It 2453 Elm"
O ok, where they had that drive buy while the litte girls were selling lemonade and weed.
by PoCoBoY October 1, 2009
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