Well, the condom broke so now I'm a father. Shit.

Your mom and dad didn't use condoms at some point

Chad : Seeing you in your bra and panties makes my dick hard can I stick it in your soft pussy ?
Kiersten : I hope you have a Condom last week you gave me herpes and now everytime I pee my vagina burns!
Chad : Sorry about that I didn't know Brigit, Madison & Mackenzie were sluts!
Kiersten : And there step brother!

"Dad, what's a condom?"
"Honey, it's a rain jacket for your penis."
"Dad?!?! WHA T THE HELL??!!!!"

Hey babe I brought the condoms.

"that baby ain't mine, I used a CONDOM"

"ah hell nah, I ain't this babies daddy Maury, ah hell nah, she sleep wit dem otha guyz, I wear a condom on that ho"

"This ain't ma child, look at dat ugly childs face, she a ho Maury"