I was waiting for my interview to start while sipping on my iced coffee from DunkBucks, when the manager came through the door to greet me. I placed the iced coffee down from my right hand, and gave him a stern condensation handshake. I saw his grimace when our two hands met, and I just knew this would affect my chances of getting the job. The interview proceeded with some obvious awkwardness as I didn't get a chance to mention the reason why my hand was wet. Maybe he thought I just washed my hands? Perhaps he thinks I find it sexually attractive that enjoy pissing on my hands and shaking random stranger's hands? Whatever the case may have been, I finished the interview with the best of my abilities, but sadly did not get the job. I look back on this time everyday of my life and think, "what if?" as the condensation handshake was really the underlying reason I didn't get the job. It's okay though, I never truly lost my fated destiny for a career at DunkBucks. Thanks DunkBucks, you're my only friend.

I've been jabbed