21
The worst ISP in the united states. They are one of the many companies that do not give two fucks about what you want. You pay for high-speed internet. they give you the wrong speed, when questioned they say it was just a goof.
Me: Why the fuck is my internet so slow?
Comcast: because half of the speed you pay for is lost on its way to your house
Me: That's bullshit, that doesn't even make logical sense!
Comcast: it's because we are Comcast. We don't give a fuck about what you paid for you useless cunt faggot ass bitch.
Comcast: because half of the speed you pay for is lost on its way to your house
Me: That's bullshit, that doesn't even make logical sense!
Comcast: it's because we are Comcast. We don't give a fuck about what you paid for you useless cunt faggot ass bitch.
by DickwadCumberpatch February 26, 2016
22
A large corporation of dumbass cocksuckers who want to steal your money and give you shit service. In early 2012, they added a type of program to where you have a data cap. Yes, a data cap. A data cap of 300GBs. This data cap is easy to go over with things such as streaming, downloading things, etc. Every 1GB you go over, you have to pay $10. This shitty company is a monopoly and they don't give two single shits about you. If you live in the states: Alabama; Tucson, Arizona; Atlanta, Augusta and Savannah, Georgia; Central Kentucky; Maine; Jackson, Mississippi; Knoxville, Nashville and Memphis, Tennessee; and Charleston, South Carolina, you are absolutely fucked internet-wise. Fuck you Comcast, you dumb fucking cunts!
Person 1: Hey dude, did you get your internet bill?
Person 2: Yes I did.
Person 1: How much was it in total?
Person 2: Oh, umm, let me check. Oh yeah, it was around $300.
Person 1: Really? Why so much?
Person 2: Because Comcast is a cocksucking, money-stealing, monopoly corporation who doesn't give a shit about their customers and their well-being.
Person 1: Lol, rekt, I have DirectTV.
Person 2: Yes I did.
Person 1: How much was it in total?
Person 2: Oh, umm, let me check. Oh yeah, it was around $300.
Person 1: Really? Why so much?
Person 2: Because Comcast is a cocksucking, money-stealing, monopoly corporation who doesn't give a shit about their customers and their well-being.
Person 1: Lol, rekt, I have DirectTV.
by Joseph Adolf Hitler Stalin March 01, 2015
23
Customer service tactic of pretending to assist with the customer's request while dragging out the process in the hopes that they will give up and cancel their request.
I wanted to cancel my Columbia Records subscription but they Comcasted me so hard I finally just hung up with my membership intact.
by TimeWarnerIsTheWorst February 14, 2018
25
A company that butt fucks its customers with shitty customer service and internet that always crashes at the worst times.
Me: Fuck! I was about to ace until my internet just fucking crashed! This is bullshit, fuck Comcast!
Friends: Imagine losing connection lol
Friends: Imagine losing connection lol
by bruh_moment December 22, 2018
26
The biggest Cable service provider in North America. The fact that they are the biggest cable internet provider in North America and you can still run all your favorite P2P without restrictions says something about them. Yes they had SEVERE reliability probems back when they upgraded everyone to ~45KB UP 420KB Down for a few months but thats been fixed. If you want REAL satellite TV service get C-band. Thats the dishes the 8 foot dishes you see abandoned in most dumbasses yards.
1. I transfer 150 GB a month of warez with my Comcast and everythings fine. All that I do is stay away from Kazaa to avoid getting owned by the RIAA. Can your DSL do that?
2. I took my cable modem to my friends house for the LAN party and we had fast internet service. Can your DSL do that?
3. I found a free TV that some one was throwing out, connected it to Comcast Cable and watched channels 2-125 with no compression artifacts with a total cost of $0.00, can your DirecTV do that?
4.I ordered a PPV movie and watched it at my convenience with ON DEMAND for 24 hrs. Can your DirecTV do that?
5. Back in the day all i did was order some stuff to watch free DirecTV and they sued me for the amount assuming i watched every PPV and premium channel similtaniously 24/7, more then ill ever make in 10 lifetimes cause all wanted to do is watch that PPV wrestling and maybe some free porn with my friend Bubba. Thanks DirecTV!!!
2. I took my cable modem to my friends house for the LAN party and we had fast internet service. Can your DSL do that?
3. I found a free TV that some one was throwing out, connected it to Comcast Cable and watched channels 2-125 with no compression artifacts with a total cost of $0.00, can your DirecTV do that?
4.I ordered a PPV movie and watched it at my convenience with ON DEMAND for 24 hrs. Can your DirecTV do that?
5. Back in the day all i did was order some stuff to watch free DirecTV and they sued me for the amount assuming i watched every PPV and premium channel similtaniously 24/7, more then ill ever make in 10 lifetimes cause all wanted to do is watch that PPV wrestling and maybe some free porn with my friend Bubba. Thanks DirecTV!!!
by Thuggin` September 12, 2005