My country-cousin friends graciously invited me to help myself to the leftovers in their fridge while I was visiting them for a couple weeks this past July. That was all great, except that once I made the mistake of thirstily polishing off a nearly-full 2-quart bottle of Ocean Spray Premium Prune Juice over the course of a couple hours on an especially hot day. Well, needless to say, I was then obliged to stay in the yard for the next couple days 'cuz I had to run inside and visit the Little Boys' Room every ten minutes, plus I hadda remember to not eat anything after four in the afternoon both days, so that I could eventually "poop myself empty" by late evening and thus be able to get some sleep at night! Talk about total colon-pee --- my poor butt-hole got so sore that it felt like I was squirtin' out hot lava towards the end of it! Ah, well --- live and learn --- prune juice isn't meant to be consumed in large quantities (I shoulda gotten a clue from the fact that the bottle had had so little used out of it), unlike apple or cranberry juice that comes in the same kind of bottle!

My loud fart surprisingly didn’t stink. I had to explain to my wife it was a colon shot.

My friend lost their headphones in their ass, so I had to colon slurp them to get them out.

I haven't shit in a week. I think I have colon stones.

Mate, just had a caffeine colonic from all that coffee i just drank!

dude! she has such a candy colon! we are so NOT doing anal ever again.

do you think her candy colon is like a light pink or a dark red?

Frat boy 1: "Yo, what was up with that chick you banged last night? She was all vegan and shit!"

Frat boy 2: "Her ass ain't vegan after the baloney colonic I gave her ..."