The Cocaine Fairy is a fairy that visits children at night and sprinkles Cocaine on their heads or bed. The next morning, they become teenagers. She has an ragged appearance with a dark cape and STD's, but she can mostly be recognized by her slit open mouth that stretches across her face. The mouth will usually be filled with cocaine or pills. If she visits you and you see her, do not be alarmed, your death will be instant.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.