These are the last words you will whisper to your dickhead party host. By uttering "Shanty Claus", you have just declared that you have hidden a small wrapped up nugget of a turd somewhere is his or her house.

I have a secret; her name is Yenta Claus. My secret brings me toys just like Santa Claus, just different. See, she is Jewish and no one else in the whole wide world knows about her because she is a secret.

The GREATEST ninja of all time!!!

1. He can't be seen

2. Only a true ninja can break into that many houses, undetected, in one night
3. He taught reindeer to hover and fly, and we all know that, while only superheros and ninja can fly, only a ninja can teach other lifeforms to do it too... that's right, the reindeer had to become ninjas too.

The guy who gives presents to all kids south of the border.

In the true spirit of the A, Atlanta Claus steals presents rather than giving them. Atlanta Claus outfits himself in an oversized Michael Vick jersey and the traditional Santa hat. His beard is more likely to be scraggly than full and white. Atlanta Claus drinks heavily and smokes Black and Milds.

The term "Santa Claus" is an American distortion of the Dutch name "San Niccolaus", meaning "Saint Nicolas". He is known by many other names around the world, such as "Kris Kringle" in some places and "Father Christmas" in Great Britain. Saint Nick was a Catholic bishop in what is now modern Turkey during the days of the Roman Empire. He left gifts for poor people in his town and after he died the legend of St. Nick coming to homes in a chariot carrying presents for good people was born. The legend was spread along with Christianity and when that faith reached the Arctic St. Nick started riding a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. The legend spread around the globe and in the 20th century in America Coca-Cola provided the modern image of "Santa" as fat, jolly, rotund, with white hair and beard, wearing a red suit and black boots and of course, drinking a bottle of Coke. He is beloved by children all over.

A fat, drunk man that breaks into your house every Christmas. Often seen wearing red and abusing animals (Reindeer, dogs , cats, etc.) for the purpose of moving around. Often has a gang of short people that dress up in green outfits.