Invention of the devil to throw clarinet choirs out of tune. So pitchy that the e-flat alto was delegated to the saxophone section. Rarely necessary in bands or orchestras, but when orchestrated for e-flat, line should be instead played by e-flat soprano, a bright, lively, slightly more in tune clarinet
Warning on Alto Clarinet case: Hazardous contents. Avoid contact with hands and mouth. If heard, immediately flush ears with Brahms or Mozart. More volatile in numbers. Also, should not be combined with amateur oboe or string player, as such a mixture has a significant correlation with the development of bipolar disorder.
by Experienced clarinetist April 19, 2006
Marcus: 'Hey Karl, you will never guess what, Steves had fifteen pints already and I just saw him out back being sucked off by Julie!!'
Karl: 'well I guess she'll soon be playing the yellow clarinet'
Karl: 'well I guess she'll soon be playing the yellow clarinet'
by Doodles33 February 28, 2017
The act of fucking a girl doggy style and in the process she shits on your dick, causing the appearance of a chocolate clarinet.
by dwil2131 April 25, 2009
A sexual act that begins with anal penetration, then the man removes his dick from the woman's ass, and she proceeds to suck his dick while fiddling with his balls, resembling playing a dirty clarinet.
I got the best dirty clarinet last night, but then that dirty ho tried to kiss me so i had to give her a dutch oven to teach her a lesson
by R . C . November 03, 2009
A reed woodwind instrument. Probably the most annoying instrument of all time, especially when not played correctly. Just give up, clarinet players and go play trumpet.
At last year's band concert, the clarinets squeaked so bad their solo of "When the Saints Go Marching In" was an unrecognizable chorus of squeaks and extremely low notes.
by Mieself March 10, 2014
A bass clarinet is a musical instrument. For the uninitiated, a bass clarinet resembles a regular clarinet, but it's shaped a little more like a saxophone and sounds a little more like a cow.
Boy 1: Did you hear that cow?
Boy 2: That's actually a recording of my bass clarinet recital.
Boy 1: Great... um... I think I hear my mom calling...
Boy 2: That's actually a recording of my bass clarinet recital.
Boy 1: Great... um... I think I hear my mom calling...
by Fred Durst jr. January 27, 2007