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Captain Turner
The act of dislodging one's eyeball from its socket with only a finger.
Ex: My baby with his crazy ass hands tries to Captain Turner me all the time.

If you don't quit looking at me, I'm going to Captain Turner your ass.

This movie is so horrible, I'm about to Captain Turner myself.

That girl is so ugly, it makes me want to Captain Turner my ass.

In the third season of Deadwood, Danny (Al Swearingen's bodyguard) and Captain Turner (George Hearst's bodyguard) have a showdown in the thoroughfare which results in Captain Turner getting his eyeball removed by Danny's index finger. It's pretty fucking nasty.
by BSwannie February 14, 2012
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May 29 Word of the Day
Mercury retrograde
Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.
As the sun sank down over the pier, the children fishing gazed in horror as the lard-ass on his flat bottom boat sent the lakeshore into Mercury retrograde.
by BatWingg May 17, 2021
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