Captain January

Main Entry: Captain january
Function: Noun

1: One who brings salvation.

2: Mythical savior and universal bailout amongst Marines. First introduced to the public in the popular film Full Metal Jacket.

3: That old dude that saved Shirley Temple from not only eminent death, but also kept the truant officer from locking her up.

4: A taxi cab.

1: Born Again Christian: Are you saved Marine?

Marine: Stand fast on that shit, I'm born again hard, and I've already got Captain January!

2: Lt. Lockhart: Joker... I want you to get straight up to Phu Bai. Captain January will need all his people.

3: After watching Captain January 1936

Marine#1: Man, Captian January even saved Shirley Temple! That's one hard fucking charger!

Marine#2: You know, I often wondered what he looked like.

4: Marine: Give me a shot!

Bartender: Dude, you've had enough 100 proof.

Marine: I'm not drivin', so fire for effect!

Bartender: You're still gonna get a public drunkeness charge, so I'm not servin' you!

Marine: Don't worry about it, I'll call Captain January.

Bartender: Who?

Marine: Yellow Cab fuck tard, so give me another shot and turn fucking two!

by bolillo loco December 27, 2010