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When the aphrodisiacal element present in ground moose antlers (chocolate) which stimulates the circulatory system and increases sexual libido, is imbibed in tall soy peppermint mocha frappucinos by a thousand Canadians watching the Stanley Cup finals, this depraved sex act has been known to occur in the stadium bathrooms. Starting with the pouring of maple syrup onto the nude, hairless, lithe bodies of affected Canadians, Canada's History ends with what can only be described as a game of drunken, syrupy-sweet Twister gone very, very wrong.
1. I'd like to go with you to the Stanley Cup, but I am afraid of what I've heard about Canada's History.

2. I've heard of Canada's History, but never really believed it until now!
by ariannahiggins February 06, 2010
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31
An act pertaining to deeds of such vile proportions, it cannot even be defined on the internet.
Man 1: Did you see what that girl did with her beaver?
Man 2: No, what did she do?
Man 1: She performed Canada's History five times in a row!
Man 2: She'll end up on tv for that for sure!
by fishtarterseagullbeaverdude February 04, 2010
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32
A sexual act requiring four participants: 2 men; 1 young woman; and one elderly woman, ideally from montreal. Also necessary are a pair of moose antlers; a gallon jug of maple syrup; and ideally the stanley cup, although a replica can be substituted. The act begins with the young woman, called "Alberta Bertha," strapping on a large prosthetic penis carved from a walrus tusk and having lubricated it with maple syrup penetrates the rectum of one of the young men. This young man, the "Toronto Blue Jay," faces away from the woman penetrating him, bends over, reaches between his spread legs and grips her ankles firmly. The second man, called the "Buttfuckin canuck," stands behind the young woman and inserts his penis in her rectum while simultaneously penetrating her vaginally with one end of the moose antlers. The elderly french canadian woman then kneels behind the second man, inserting the other end of the moose antlers into her own vagina, and licks his rectum while masturbating with two fistfuls of french fries covered in gravy. For this reason she is called the "Madame Poutin." Extra fries, gravy, and maple syrup for lubricant are kept close at hand in the stanley cup. The resulting configuration of bodies in silhouette closely resembles the stylized maple leaf on the Canadian flag. Purists prefer there to be a heavily medicated beaver present, altho most modern practitioners consider The Beaver to be outmoded in the internet age.
"Hey hoser, look at that granny and her grand daughter over there. It'd be great to hook up with them for a Canada's History, eh?"
by Father Partridge Family Values February 05, 2010
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33
Sexual act where a woman drinks Canadian Whiskey out of a Stanley Cup, while a man puts both his hands in her ass and both his feet in her vagina, using maple syrup as a lubricant. The Man usually wears moose antlers on his head.
- Putting everything in there by the way is the hardest part of performing "Canada's History".
by CNation1 February 05, 2010
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34
An erotic sexual act to welcome the end of winter and the coming of the spring. The woman is cradled in the majestic antlers of a fallen moose, reciting Margaret Atwood poetry. A mountie lovingly drizzles warm maple syrup all over her body. The mountie then kneels before the woman, representing the sovereignty of the queen, and selflessly performs cunnilungus on her. When she has come once, he uses a dildo in the shape of Ryan Gosling's penis (which is large) until she ejaculates into the Stanley Cup. The mountie then gladly drinks the warm liquid and sings "Oh Canada."
In April, Steven Harper performed Canada's history in the role of the mounty in parliament.
by Sarah McLachlan's Love Child February 05, 2010
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35
An intense and daring sexual act popular in USA. A few items are needed for this sexual act: moose antlers, maple syrup, stanley cup and a Mountie. The trick to mastering Canada's History is fitting it all in.
Guy 1: "What kind of things did you do last night with her brah?"

Guy 2: "Well I won't get too in detail but we did a little of Canada's History. Took a couple hours to fit it, but worked like a charm once the Mountie showed up"
by FoxyFuego February 05, 2010
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