The act of making love to one's own genitalia after having a sex change operation all while precariously balanced atop the Stanley cup and drinking maple syrup from a moose skull (antlers required). For some, the act is too tame. A common variation includes wearing a Mountie's outfit, mixing the syrup with beaver semen and continuously slapping one's partner with a hockey stick in an attempt to enhance the pleasure.
(guy1) "Bro, she looks hot but I heard she's a virgin."
(guy2) "Are you kidding? That whore has done Canadas History after chopping her own phallus off with an axe. I believe she is ready for my devious pleasuring."

"I told that asshole to go fuck himself but he went overboard and performed the old Canadas History."
by stephensbastardchild February 05, 2010
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Is when you put a miniature #99 Wayne Gretzky jersey on your cock, then pull your foreskin over another dude's circumsized penis which has a miniature #66 Mario Lemieux jersey on and dock with him; while being watched by a Sasquatch, Brian Mulroney, and the Blue Nose.
"Hey remember on July 1st when those two guys showed us Canada's History."

"Those two dudes aren't gay they just like Canada's History."
by The Goldman February 05, 2010
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The 'Canada's History' is an extremely vile, yet strangely satisfying, sex act that originated in the Moose Jaw, SK, General Hospital Psychiatric ward in 1987. It is now practiced throughout Canada, especially in the cold parts, by children, adults, and seniors alike. The act itself involves the male genitalia being dipped in maple syrup before being made to negotiate a pair of Moose antlers which have been strapped to the female's groin area. Male beginners at this move may choose to wear a protective sports cup on the their groin while practicing this skill with their friends--this is often referred to on the schoolyards of Canada as the "Stanley Cup". Regional differences do exist in regards to the 'Canada's History' however. In maritime Canada and northern Quebec, where human-looking and smelling females have long since become extinct, the use of a seal instead of a human female is accepted. While the normal version of the "Canada's History" is culminated by both parties needlessly apologizing to each other, the Maritime/N. Quebec version ends with the clubbing of the aforementioned seal.
"I wonder if mom and dad know we can hear them doing the Canada's History"
by iamnotacrook February 06, 2010
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A sex act of the most depraved type, usually between two men, and involving maple syrup, a hockey stick, the Stanly Cup, a Canadian flag, and several polar bears. This act is often performed on ice.

The syrup is poured into the Stanly Cup and placed on ice where it is allowed to cool for about an hour. Both men take turns spanking each other with the hockey stick, while the syrup hardens into a gel. Then, the first man penetrates the semi-hardened syrup with his penis, while he wraps the second man's head with the Canadian flag. Then, the ends of the hockey stick are inserted into the anuses of both men. Each man pleasures himself, generally in a race to be the first to ejaculate.

The polar bears just watch.

My apologies to the proud nation of Canada.
Me: "I gave Stephen Colbert the Canada's History last night".
My friend: "Did you get the flag or the cup?"
Me: "The cup".
My friend: "How many polar bears did you have?"
Me: "Two".
My friend: "I am doubtful of your truethiness".
by CaptainStudly February 06, 2010
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A sexual act so depraved Canadians are forbidden from speaking of it in public. Also known as "Going Balls-Diefenbaker."

With a turkey baster, inject as much maple syrup as possible into the vagina or anus. Once full, grab a lacrosse stick and insert in a slow twisting motion until it can go no further. Do a couple of turns, and then remove. What you now have is called the "Kodiak Boner", which you have to lick clean before moving on. Next, take the antlers of a young moose (freshly killed is best; you Albertans know what I'm talking about) and insert the longest point into your anus while letting the horn wrap around & cradle your nutsack. If you're female, it's one in the pink, one in the stink. Ideally this is accomplished without breaking the horn. Then while standing over the Stanley cup, one partner blows the other and spits the jizz into the cup until full. (This can take days.) Once filled to the brim, the fellated partner must drink Lord Stanley's Cum (purists will say it must be done in one attempt), kiss his partner, and snowball as much as possible back into his or her mouth. If his partner vomits from the experience, then the antlers may be removed and the act is complete; if not, the partners must post each other's nude, antler-impaled, come-covered photo as their Facebook profile picture and tag themselves in it.

Extra cred is applied if Canada's History is performed in a, or with a girl named, Mercedes. รœBER cred if both apply.
My girlfriend and I took a week off work to perform Canada's History and now I'm pretty sure I have a ruptured colon.
by RebelScum February 05, 2010
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a very foul sex act ... where a man uses maple syrup as lube to fuck a moose in the ass while the female sex partner (wearing a gretzky jersey and has a hockey stick in her ass) is using the antlers of the live moose as a dildo... this will most likely cause a bloody mess that will be caught by the stanley cup itself... AND this is all done as a mountie is jerking off until he cums into the stanley cup and when it is all said and done the mountie will drink from the stanley cup
"Yooo i was checking out a video wit canada's history and your mom starred in it"

"Really??? im gonna have to check it out... i didnt know i was canadian"
by j.mat20 February 06, 2010
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the act of two consenting adults fondling eachother with a maple leaf soaked in maple syrup, before going to town on eachother with goalie pads, a french to english translation book, and a picture of alan thicke. all of this done while listening to a record of william shatner's spoken word album "The Transformed man"
jim: so, you showed diane a bit aboot canadas history last night eh?

bob: ohh yaaaa, she knows all aboot it now
by Freida's Boss February 05, 2010
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