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Calculating a mom is a slang term used often in the Azerbaijani area's. In Azeri it is "hesablamaq sənin anan", which roughly translates to "Calculate your mother". In Azeri slang, it means to have sexual relations with someones mother, and after these relations, to upload a review on that mother to some social media. This term is often used in an incestial way. When used to talk about incest it leans more towards the meaning having un orthodox/taboo sex with your own mother.
Elnur: Yo dude have you seen Rashads mom?
Togrul: Yea man. I would totally calculate her.
Elnur: Hell yea. That way everyone can know how good that pussy is.
Togrul: fuck yea.

OR:
Elnur: your mom is totally hot
Togrul: yo I calculate that on the daily
Elnur: Yo bro that is crazy I also wanted to calculate your mom
Togrul: Bro that shit is mine. I am the only man calculating dat ass

OR
Togrul: man i really want to Calculate Someones Mom
Elnur: just calculate your own mom
Togrul: oh yea! thats a great idea!
by Hugetomhanks May 09, 2017
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Apr 27 Word of the Day
A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011
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