Top definition
To receive a blow job while having a shit.
As it's your birthday today I'll give you a blumke as a special treat.
by Qabbalah September 18, 2020
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May 29 Word of the Day
Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.
As the sun sank down over the pier, the children fishing gazed in horror as the lard-ass on his flat bottom boat sent the lakeshore into Mercury retrograde.
by BatWingg May 17, 2021
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2
When you get a blowjob whilst you're having a shit.
"Mitch is in the doghouse again."
"why? What's happened?"

"He asked Kerri Anne for a blumke."
by Kinneth September 17, 2020
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3
When your wife has a three way with a Nigerian and a pit bull
I had a friend once. His wife would Blumke him every time she went to Vegas
by MattJGoaltender69 January 22, 2020
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