The one day of the year that you should be able to do whatever you want, but ends up being the day that you do what everyone else thinks you want.

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.

The day I came out of a vagina

A holiday that occurs every 365 days in celebration of freedom from the mother's womb.

expelled from a safe, warm environment into a cold, wicked world to live with pain, suffering, frustration, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, disease, poverty so you can die......

a day to celebrate that you havent died in in the last year

The day on which your mother, through excruciating pain and agony, pushed you out of her vagina and gave birth.