If you want to be on "Behind the Music," you must:

1) start a band and play seedy nightclubs in New York or Los Angeles or Chicago or Atlanta;
2) get discovered, get a record deal, go triple-platinum, have 3 number one videos on "TRL," and make mad cash money;
3) develop a drug addiction or gambling habit or drinking problem and loose everything;
4) hit rock bottom; and
5) enter re-hab or find Jesus.