The reason I get up in the morning and the reason I pass out at night.

My mother told me that beer is my enemy, but Jesus told me to love my enemy

Helping ugly people have sex since 9000 BC.

The piss of angels.

the answer to all my problems, and the cause of most

The world's oldest alcoholic beverage (approximately 11,000 years old). Made from fermentation of sugars derived from malted grains. It gives one the false impression that they have the ability to do anything.

Beer, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness. The cause and answer to all of life's problems!