n. Mythical Simian like creature that magicly appears during the middle of the night to Ruffle your hair, shit in your mouth and nick $50 out of your wallet while you sleep. Often visits after you duck out on a Friday night for a few "bevvies" with the boys.

A jack off buddy (from 'cum' /'come', meaning 'semen', and 'companion'); a friend that you get together with for sessions of solo or mutual masturbation
Variant of: cumpanion (from 'companion' & 'cum'); jack off buddy & wank bud & JO buddy
Similar to: fuck buddy

An imaginary primate that steals all your money on a night out.

Adj. A phrase which describes the post hangover feeling of foreboding and doom accompanied often by an inability to attain restful sleep despite severe fatigue.

A person nominated by the rest of a drinking group to fetch them all beer on request. A modern form of slave.

When you wake up in the morning, you know if you've had a visit from the Beer Monkey. Whilst passed out on the sofa after a heavy night of drinking, the Beer monkey pays you a visit and lays out a fat shit in your mouth, steals £10 for his Crack addiction and fucks off, resulting in the awful taste in the morning. He is known to visit between 3-4am whilst you are totally wankered. Not to Be confused with the Doner Monkey

Technically 3, Clive, Geoff and Steve. After a heavy night on the pop, Clive ransacks your room while hiding your wallet,keys,phone,etc while Geoff punches you in your sleep (subsequent black eyes and headache in morning!) At the same time, Steve shits in your mouth leaving that strange nasty taste in the morning which not even bleach can shift!