The New York Times has a serious bedbug infestation.

Danny is a bedbug, he won't stop bugging Cheryl to sleep with him.

Yo, He sure is a bedbug. I heard he was in 7 people's beds in 7 days in a row

Only time he ducks with you is at night Tiesha...bitch you're dating a bedbug!

Rachel would not leave Alex alone after they had sex, even though he tried to make it clear to her he was not attracted. He began to think of her as a bedbug.

"I would rather gargle buckshot than have bedbugs."
"Bedbugs are to furniture what crackheads are to ghettos."
"Bedbugs are the reason we had to move and get rid of our couches."
"Bedbugs are a biological weapon."
"Goodnight, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."

The only difference between bedbugs and the black plague is that the plague kills you with fevers and sores, while bedbugs make you itch to death.