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Synonymous with "spanking the money" or "choking the chicken". A reference to human male masturbation, or self gratification, via manipulation of one's own male genitalia. Based on either a reinterpretation, or misinterpretation, of the Ramones' classic hit song "Cretin Hop". Most likely to be used by a person who identifies with "punk-rock" or is in fact a "punk-rocker". Punk-rocker is a term used in the Ramones' classic hit song "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker".
1) Dude, that lap-dance was so hot and heavy, I think he's in the bathroom beatin' on the cretin right now.

2) My roommate has porno mags all over his room. I always knock on the door, cuz I don't wanna get post traumatic sex disorder from catching him beatin' on the cretin.
by J.J. Styles February 15, 2012
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