"This just in , we have reports from San Fransisco that indicate a bearquake is imminent! Remember to stand in a doorframe with your bear mace, make sure that the nozzle is pointed out and you stand away from the windows!

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”