Seriously who the fuck is named this shit nowadays? This niggas parents were high on crack during birth
Nurse: Awww your baby boy is so cute, what’s his name gonna be?

Mom/dad *high on crack*: ;8:!8,’neiowfjwisnslw bracktolomoxusn barr-BARTHOLOMEW

Nurse: Eww nigga by law Ima say no to that name

Edit: I’m sorry for offending all you Bartholomews out there, I know it’s a big responsibility to carry that stupid name
by ITS YA HOMIE NIGGLER October 10, 2019
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A friendly, inquisitive alligator, he spends time in Palm Beach, hanging around with royalty, notably The Viscount. His spectacles give him a scholarly look, but his teeth are real.
Bartholomew lay next to The Viscount and waved his tail at Sabi, with all in the party basking in the sun.
by chasebetterthanone July 16, 2012
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bartholomew aka bart is a nice but also dirty minded coll guy he is easily trusting and easygoing person
by ddffffeerf April 14, 2021
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Pronounced: Barthla--umm-Barthomaul---umm. Bar-tholo-mew

1.) a Biblical name, which is often miss pronounced by girls who are otherwise pretty and smart but still play stupid, little pigs (and I mean that literally).

2.) brother--I mean, sister, I think--of Marcellus and Amadeus (for AMADEUS refer to "1")

3.) a word that people who have names like "Victoria" and still choose to shorten them (to, for example, "Tori") would have difficulty pronouncing.
Tori, which is just a random name, cannot seem to say Bartholomew (Instead, she says, Barthla--umm-Barthomaul---umm. Bar-tholo-mew etc.), or say four letter words, in anger, without making everyone say, "Aww, she's so cute when she's pissed off."
by Lindon April 11, 2007
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That one bitch nigga typing his name into Urban Dictionary because they need validation.

It's a glowing review of their apparently glowing personality that all the Urban Dictionary Editors need to read.
Bartholomew: "Bartholomew is the type of guy who's extremely sexy, hot, and beautiful. He's pretty, handsome, and not gay. You are SO lucky if you know a Bartholomew :)))))))))))))))))))))"
by Joycon Men October 16, 2019
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An absolute lad. Always has cracking banter wherever he is. Generally has short dark hair and a throbbing large penis. Usually laughs during funerals.
Look at that inconsiderate asshole laughing at the back there, he must be a Bartholomew.
by Bent Spoon March 28, 2019
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Bartholomew is a very smart person that brings good to all around him. He is very polite like a typical British person. Also, they are commonly known to grow up as a butler. A "Bartholomew" can be an extraordinary compliment to all those that wish to be smart. Large genitalia.
Oh boy, he is a real Bartholomew
by coOLBOY8mIneR January 14, 2019
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