After a long hot day of walking around the Inner Harbor, Ross discovered his ass crack had become excessively lathered in smelly bum butter. Upon hearing of the situation, ever helpful Jim volunteered to accompany Ross back to the hotel and give him a Baltimore Bidet.
"Ross, I've got a belly full of 'Natty Boh' and have enough pent-up piss to easily flush all the jizz infused dung-discharge from your ass crack!"

After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.