The use of a unfurled coat hanger to remove said zygote-unwanted freeloading life from themselves in a back alley-preferably in a semi-residential urban area

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.

A serious Japanese hard liquor, that costs slightly over $2.00, and comes in a nondescript plastic container. The most notable thing is the taste, which is so fucking aweful that one would surmise that it has abortive qualities...which would be the best quality that comes to mind after drinking it.

n. Nailing your pregnant girlfriend in a rusted out station wagon in a strip mall parking lot until she has a miscarriage.

A "Back Alley Abortion" is the crude name for a snort of cocaine followed by a shot of Fireball whiskey. The cocaine is a pinch on the outside of the hand when making a fist, between thumb and forefinger, similar to where salt goes when doing a shot of tequilla.

Alternatively, you can dust the rim of the shotglass with the cocaine. (less common)