Akwood is when a guy gets a boner for no reason in an awkward situation. Awkwood occurs especially when one is sitting down or tired, and suddenly has to go somewhere or get up. Usually, it is noticed suddenly with incredibly bad timing.

Etymology:
“wood” stems from uses such as “morning wood” to indicate a hardened phallus.
“Awk” stems from Awkward, which is a key component of awkwood.

The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."

When you get an erection at an awkward time.

When you suddenly have a huge erection for no reason and you are forced into a situation where it is easily noticeable.