national embarrass any friends you have

if you were born on this day you have a small dick. your name is probably something stupid and gay like “danny.” you’re probably a lonely stoner who thinks the world revolves around you.

August 4th is the day people who produce an extreme amount of discharge celebrate their birthday.

Fuck ur girl best friend day

august 4th is the day you’ll meet your soulmate from being a horn dog 😀 it’s okay though, you guys will fall inlove and only be 4 hours away, same age, two months apart.. the person you fall inlove with will love macadamia nut cookies, have a few tummy issues, an incredible dog<3, and love you no matter what. you’ll know he’s the one because you guys will talk abt the exact day you’ll meet eachother in person. he’ll be the best person in your life no matter the ups or downs, because you love him and he loves you regardless how low you guys feel, you’ll feel it together and be together to help. things around you aren’t going to be perfect, but you two together are and will be forever and always, always and forever 💗

August 4th are where all the beautiful bitches were born, like me! Also us beautiful bitches are drama queens, but we are mostly loyal.

this is the day you bully your sister