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DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are asymptomatic COVID carrier.
ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.
ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.
ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!
DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?
1) stop being a little bitch.
2) think about others you might infect.
3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.
4) Where my copay at, son???
ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.
ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.
ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!
DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?
1) stop being a little bitch.
2) think about others you might infect.
3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.
4) Where my copay at, son???
ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
by Magic Brain Pills September 06, 2020