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Just Ask Satan (the book) is a collection of Michelle J. Wong’s columns from his homonymous online project (he is twitching now as you read the word “homonymous”). With a brand of humor beyond good and evil, relentlessly mocking all subject matters, all peoples, all walks of life and all futile human attempts to make this misery of a world more livable, Just Ask Satan is nothing but a modern-day Miss Lonelyhearts for the evil at heart.

The book is organized in five sections dealing each with a specific topic: Family, Dating & Relationships, Society, Politics, Religion & Existentialism. These are only general headings, as each column displays a veritable tour de force of free association, nightmarish cognition and detailed vivisections of the absurd elements that fill the world we inhabit and the ways we conceive of it. A perfect blend of the sane indignation of a George Carlin and the rebellious outbursts of a Sam Kinison, Wong’s harangues begin in tender mocking and end in something dangerously close to actual social criticism (the politically-incorrect stuff great humor is made of, really). Here’s a bit from a question about the mistreatment of women in the columns of Just Ask Satan:
Ask Satan says:
What really summarizes the female inferiority in this show Sex & the City is the way that these four independent women in their “thirties” in New York City want nothing else but to show their independence by getting a man who has his shit together to support them.

And here’s a take on that wondrous miracle, motherhood:

Staying on drugs until the time you actually give birth to your E-tarded baby is simply a trendy thing to do. If you don’t believe me ask Barbara Bush.

Satan excels also at that most-needed intellectual service, pointing out the obvious:

Babies are known for not knowing shit and lacking basic survival skills. I would even go as far as saying that they don’t deserve to be called real people.

He has good things to share with those who enjoy the best things in life:
In the same way that emotionally unstable woman are fantastic in bed, unhealthy food is unbelievable in my mouth… I am on a strict diet of alcohol and Tabasco. But I do love mayonnaise wrapped in bacon.

And, of course, he can’t be bothered with his eternal nemesis, Jesus:
He is a jerk like that; I don’t know why the whole resurrection thing made him feel so special. Dracula did it too and so did the zombies!
by The Lord Jesus Cristo September 11, 2011
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