Official home of the Texas Rangers, Dallas Cowboys, and UT - Arlington which is the 2nd largest university in the UT system and the fastest growing university in the state of Texas.

Also the largest city in the Nation with no mass transit system (trains, buses, etc).

Also known as Aggtown

Arlington is a town in Massachusetts (NOT Virginia, NOT Texas, NOT Ohio, and NOT Illinois). The town mascot is an angry indian named after a pond. All the teams are known as the Spy Ponders, except the frisbee team, which is called the Dancing Pirates, complete with their own flag, logo, and songs about eating babies. The cheerleaders suck, and have a ten-minute cheer naming all the "captains" on the football team. There are more "captains" than there are entire players on the soccer team. The town colors are maroon and grey, and there is a town song called "Red and Gray," which is boring and repetative as hell.

A large portion of the town consists of old people who are childless and old and don't support art. The kids are mostly white, Democratic, and middle class, with the occassional Jewish Neo-Nazi, though minorities do exist.

The only good elementary school is Dallin, although Brackett is the smartest. At the middle school, take Latin so that you can have FOLEY, the short, talented teacher who sings and plays the guitar in his band that performs at drunken bars. The public high school, AHS, is substantially better than the exclusive Christian private school, AC, who hate each other with a burning passion.

If you decide to visit our beloved town, please be on the lookout for two teenage twin boys who pretend to have a cult/gang called the Scorps, a wildly anti-government group.

Many teenage residents think Arlington is boring, but we do have a chilly cow.