When it’s so damn cold out your balls retreat deep inside the abdominal cavity leaving a tightly drawn in scrotum incapable of being fondled, pulled or performing a cherished teabagging of your mate.

While camping in the winter below freezing and you do not want to leave your sleeping bag you piss into a condom and then chuck it into the snow. In the morning your piss condom will be frozen thus becoming an arctic turnip.

The shrivelling of ones penis due to cold weather systems and/or penis submersion in cold water

Rub near frozen lube on your arm, then begin to anal fist your girlfriend, once inside pull out as fast as possible and then thrust your fist back into the gaping asshole.

The ultimate hardcore raving group. Composed of three parts, Arctic Popsicle, Arctic Thunder and Arctic Flame. Known for raving so hard that, much like the drug known as Charlie Sheen, simply observing the awesome might of their raving powers will cause your face to melt off. Many have attempted to emulate the Trio, but the rigors of weeks without sleep and the sheer quantity of drugs consumed by the group make this a foolish, if not fatal endeavor. The Arctic Trio will live on in history as the heart and soul of rave, leaving a guiding spirit for all aspiring ravers to follow.

Overly defensive (and scarily so) acolytes at the altar of that grating, banal band that we're told we must like on pain of death, The Arctic Monkeys.

One fantastic band- true they're not the next Beatles ...

But if you listen to the lyrics: everyone who's gone out boozing, tried to chat up someone up and got shot down, tried to get past club bouncers, been surrounded by fakes and posers, been in shit relationships or whatever- you can relate to them and laugh at the way Alex Turner presents it!

Unfortunately, Arctic Monkeys is the victims of its own hype! Hype kills bands as critics and music snobs alike make themselves seem so above everyone else by slating such bands and saying they haven't lived up to their snobbish and superior expectations (because thy ALWAYS know best!).

The truth of the matter is, AM is a great original, down to earth, non-manufactured band with an extreamly talented lead singer and writer!

So I'm glad that people are sitting up and taking notice to them instead of some X Factor/Simon Cowell reject!

Oh and they are amazing live!!!